How to get to your heart?

Two whole days without training totally out of auto-sabotage. More on that later.

Yesterday, my sister and I decided to buy a gigantic piece of cake, just because we can.

Yes, I don't know what's in it and, for the first time in ages, I didn't care. :)

That's my "I didn't care" lame face. lol

After that, we watched some American Idol and 8430098 episodes of 6teen, because my brain still thinks I'm a teenager. 

So about the auto-sabotage thing. That's some huge problem I've been dealing with lots. I'm doing great with basically everything. Then something bad hits. Bad news, something unpredictable, stressful, anything that wasn't supposed to happen. Then I just start to being too hard on myself again and, instead of trying to be sane and finding ways to get out of whatever bad thing is happening, I start to auto-sabotage myself. Usually with no exercising. I guess my brain knows how much I love it and start taking it away from me as some kind of punishment... (I know, I talk about my brain in a third person... you didn't see that coming hun?). 

Anyways... 2 days ago, I was about to go to bed, my mom logs in and says:

I just logged in to see your blood test results and it says you're already diabetic. 

The mom with the worst news on the planet is now offline. 

I mean, what? How can she just drop this like that and leave?? So yeah I totally freaked out, I couldn't barely sleep. So yesterday, I woke up and I started eating that cake for breakfast (?). Then my whole day was totally crappy. I was totally stressed out and didn't wanna do anything. I had a few appointments in the morning, but just didn't show up. I couldn't collect myself to do any exercise whatsoever. I wanted to. Badly. But I just didn't... so I went to bad at 2am and stayed up 'till almost 5am. I had to meet my aunt at 9am, so I just knew my day would suck... again! I ended up putting myself together, met with her, did a few things... my grandma is in town, so I went to my aunt's house to see her and my cousins and told them about the exam... I tried calling my mom to ask her about the exact results, but she said she didn't have them on her at the moment. I was feeling really bad, like my life was about to change... My grandma didn't understand, because I barely eat anything sweet at all (ok, the cake was self-sabotage, which I don't do that often). She said she was gonna cheer me up and bake me my favorite pie... whole wheat and sugar free :)

I learned the hard way today that you ain't welcome taking pics in the supermarkets in Brazil. 

Grandma: "What's going on?"

Me: "I have a banana and I'm not afraid of use it."

Grandma: "Why do old people always look so ugly in pictures, that's unfair!"

Grandma: "Why are we doing this again?" Tsc, people with no sense of the joy of talking about your own very personal life with strangers all over the internet. Go figure. 

Guys, I wish I could put the recipe here, but I actually forgot to ask my aunt the exact measure of the stuff lol. I promise I'll be asking her tomorrow :) It's a banana pie ('cause anything with banana in it can't be bad, right? - no jokes, man!). 

The joy of life. 

Aunt Ivane: - Mom, you should put the liquids on the bottom of the blender!

Grandma: Didn't I? Oh crap.

Time to put our arm's strength all into the baking.

Bananas, cinnamon, stevia on the bottom. 

Cover it with the cake :) 

Eat the cake dough... 

Be so desperately hungry that you remember to get a picture after almost a whole pie is gone. 

The cinnamon at the bottom melts and mixes with the bananas... oh boy. 

Moral of story: NEVER let your mom tell you the results of your medical tests before you confirming them. Guess what? I just got home and called my mom to ask her how exactly was my sugar level. She logged again with the protocol number and it turned out it was 90. What she thought she saw was the numbers on the side comparing the sugar levels of a normal person with a diabetic one. So I freaked out for nothing, punished myself for nothing and my mom should feel luck I was on the phone with her. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you guys ever had any really big surprises like that that turned out to be not a surprise at all? 

I should say this was definitely my biggest one. 

Do your loved ones cook for you to make you feel better?

Definitely. They know they way to my heart is through my stomach. :)