Saturday, February 12, 2011

Brazil - NY - Buenos Aires.

Enjoying summer vacation in Brazil pays off...

                    Punau beach, Natal - RN, Brazil  JAN 2011 :)

So let's get back on track here... :)   I'm so inspired those days with my workout... My mind is really good at tricking me, like I want to sabotage myself or something like that. But it's good that it turns out that it lasts only a couple days and then I go right back on track. 

A little bit of story then. When I turned 17, I started living alone with my sister (she was 12 back then), so I guess that always gave me a strong will to do things on my own, you know? So, in 2005, I turned 18 and started Journalism at college. I've always like writing and reading and all that, but I've never quite liked the news... I was a little lost with what to do or what to study... I knew I liked philosophy, poetry, cinema, literature, art... so I think I was thinking about mixing all that together and working in a magazine like those really cool ones about culture in general. I studied for 3 years in Brazil (my homeland d:) and then I moved to NY for an inter exchange program on December 2007... I wanted to learn english, have new experiences, meet new people... my city was kinda sucking the life out of me... Lots of "Skins" kinda life - if you know what I mean - and that was BAD. 

Well, it turned out that I was supposed to stay only for 1 year, but I left the program and started living on my own... I went through a lot trying to make a living and all that jazz, got extremely depressed on winter of 2008 (well, winters...). I was living out of Red Bull and Hershey's bar basically, which just got me more and more depressed... I had like crazy mood swings and my health was just miserably bad... I had never done any type of exercise whatsoever and the thought of it didn't even crossed my mind. I guess I've procrastinated it so bad because I was never fat or even overweighted. Actually, I've always been pretty skinny, like those really skinny that get picked on at school and I've always kinda had a trauma with that... but I didn't like my body either, despite the fact that I was skinny I used to see myself in a different way... One day I was "too skinny", next day I would see fat all over me (I still have a little bit of that, but I guess you couldn't even compare to what it used to be...). 

One day, then, I woke up and decided to change. Just like that. Out of nowhere. Joined the gym. God, was that painful... I've spend about 2 or 3 months dragging my ass there like I was going to hell every single day... I was just doing it all wrong! My eating habits were still really poor and the exercises weren't paying off and I couldn't make myself like them either. So I met this spinning instructor at the gym and we became best friends... she was so amazing and she really inspired me in so many ways that I can't even start describing it... So I started going to the library every week, getting tons of Nutritional books, Medical books, researching on the internet... I quit smoking, quit refine sugar, Whole Foods became my personal church... For the first time in my life I was feeling like I was doing something for MYSELF only, I was liking myself, rewarding myself for doing so many goods for me *-*   

                My favorite spinning instructor, true inspiration <3

Finally, I took my spinning instructor test, started working together with my best friend as spinning instructor... but I just wasn't feeling complete quite yet. The more I studied, the more I wanted to know more about the human body, about how things work in details... I was tired of reading websites that used to contradict each other in all possible ways... So I was like "ok, I think I might have to go to Medical school then". And so, just like that, I decided. And I was already 22 years old... but that didn't scared me... at all. I wanted it so bad and I was so sure that I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I didn't know what part of Medicine I wanted, but I knew I wanted to study it, to spend hours on books learning about the amazing machine the gets me through the day... 

But it was just so expensive to study Medicine back in the US. I didn't want to study in Brazil either. I wanted to challenge myself more. My mom suggested that I should try going to Argentina. Well, you could see the problems right there: First, I didn't even know how to say "hi" in spanish (well, it's not that I knew how to speak english at all when I moved to the US either... but I've learned, right?). Second, it was ANOTHER country, another starting over, another leaving friends behind, living a life that I had built in the US and that I got so used to. I was scared like hell. But I just sucked it up. :)

[ to be continued... ].

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