Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Speed and self-analyzing.

When I'm running, I think I should be studying. I'm studying and all I can think about is running. Isn't it sad? I hate when I'm not able to enjoy whatever I'm doing WHEN I'm doing it. It's just a waste of time because then once it's  all over, you'll realize that you had never truly enjoyed anything you have done at all because you were always thinking ahead of you. We do this all the time! We go to school thinking about college; then we go to college thinking about graduation and getting a job; then we finally get a job and we can't stand it and we only think about getting it over with or retire. That's just not right. If you're unhappy with your decisions, if you hate school, if you hate your job, well, then CHANGE IT. Most people didn't understand why I gave up Journalism school when I was 1 year away from finishing. Well, I was 100% sure that I didn't want that for my life. So what would I do with the diploma? Put on my wall to show people "hey look, I graduate at something I don't actually care about". And, if I had continued with it, the chances that I would get carried away by jog offers or influence from other classmates would be much bigger. Then I would be now sitting on a desk, whining and thinking "if I only had gave up when I had the chance". Thank God I did. And I couldn't have decided for anything differently. I don't say Med school is easy because it isn't. On the top of that, trying to keep up with a healthy life style plus running is definitely a challenge. You always have lots to study and it's pretty tempting to let it get on your way of doing things you love and that help you keep your sanity. I just have to remember how much running cleans up my head so I can study fresh-minded afterward. Yes, I have less time to study than the other students. But I'm up with much more energy then most of them and, the fewer hours when I'm indeed studying, I'm much more focused and learn things much easily then if I had potato-couched the whole day sitting on my ass and eating crap. Running has become a part of me now. I love it and I should be able to enjoy it while I'm running. I don't wanna be running thinking about studying or vice-versa. I wanna be able to give my 100% to everything I'm doing, so I have better chances to have fewer regrets later on in life. And if, at any given point, I realize that's not really what I want for me, well, I will have no regrets for doing it because I gave my all and best. :)

I have  6K coming up in a few weeks. The running group convinced me. It's my first race ever, but I'm glad I'm starting off with a 6K instead of a 10K. I know it's nothing for you marathoners out there, but it means a lot to me. It means I'm starting. It means I'm putting myself out there for good or bad. It means I'm doing something for myself and that, after that, I'll be stronger even if it's in a small way. And I'll also have running pictures, running shirts and running people to hang out with. Well, maybe that's the main reason I'm doing this d: C'mon, don't judge, I really wanna a running shirt :)

So Fall is finally here. Well, not really, it's really being a chicken this year. I don't complain. Like at all. I'm not a big fan of winter after all. But the leaves as falling...

Sorry I don't know how to pose for pictures at all. 

Church gals d: 

That was taken by Su after church... so you know what that means... 

Sunday sushi's ritual. Su ditched me and went home. Something about having to save money and cooking I didn't quite get. 

Today I had the class I fear the most... anatomy. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the subject. But the class has always taken the best out of me. I used to start crying several times in the middle of the class (I would always blame it on the formol lol). By the end of it, I was so mentally devastated that the only thing I could think of what "why am I in this career again?" Anatomy is tough. Specially for me, who has always like humanities classes better since I can understand myself as a human being. I read Socrates when I was 13. Sophie's World 3 times when I was 14. Nietzsche and Freud joined me for my 15th birthday. I had a really messed up teenagerhood (is this even a word?), mostly because I was aware of most things that were happening around me and I couldn't just be ignorant about it. Ok, back to the point. Anatomy has been difficult to me because I'm not used to decorate things. I'm used to read and understand. Simple as that. So I've been spending several hours a day dedicating exclusively to anatomy and, you know what?, it's been worth it. At first, I wasn't seen improvement. I started thinking I just suck at it, something genetic (don't you also love to blame it on the genes when you can't justify it?). But, after today, I'm seeing things differently. I was really into the class all the time, I answered, I recognized parts, I felt like I knew every single word the teacher said. And I had one of those moments when you smile and feel proud of yourself. Don't you love those? I've been having them quite a lot lately. 

Yeah, those are dead people. Don't freak out, they don't look nearly as exciting as they are in The Sixth Sense. 

So, let's talk running. Yesterday, I went to meet with the group again. I got there a little late because my subway got stuck somewhere, somehow, I wasn't really paying attention. So I met them half way and started running out of nowhere to warm up. About 3.2K. Then we did a little of abs, lunges, squads, push-ups (as if I don't do those enough at the gym). So we were at a park called ROSEDAL, in the middle of the Palermo's gardens. Really famous spot in Buenos Aires. The group made marks around the park every 100m. A whole turn has 1.600m, starting from mark 0m. I asked the teacher "so what are we doing today?", he said "400m speed". 400m?, I thought in my naivety, that's not that bad, and walked away happy we were doing some shorter sets of sprints. I didn't walk away quick enough to hear we were doing 12 (yeah, you read it right) 12 sets of 400m. HA. I seriously laughed. First thought: there's no way in god's creation I'm able to do 12 sets. With that in mind, I joined a group of 4 and we started. I kept telling myself I was gonna do only one whole turn (the whole 12 sets resulted in 3 whole turns at the park). Pace? 7.42. By the end of the first whole turn, I was exhausted. It hurt like hell. We had 1min rest between every set. I couldn't breath, I was thirsty, I thought I wasn't gonna make it. Then the guys said "let's go" and I automatically followed them. I kept going. It grew on me. I was getting faster. I passed one of the dudes from my group (notice that I'm the slowest one so that gave me a huge adrenaline fix). By the end of the second whole turn, quitting was already not an option. I was strong. I could see myself running strong, I was faster, I felt like nothing could stop me. I finished the third whole turn. The teacher came to talk to me, really worried, asking if I was ok, saying that I shouldn't have tried to keep up with the boys, that I shouldn't have done all the 12 sets. I was smiling big time. I've never felt such an amazing sense of accomplishment in my life. I ran the fastest I've ever had. I didn't quit. I enjoyed it. Hey, you know what? I'm a runner. :) 

Life's good, folks. Never forget that. "It's not the load that breaks you down. It's the way you carry it."  [ Lena Horne ].

How are you carrying your load? 

What has made you proud of yourself lately?
I definitely need to say the running group. It has made me realize how much stronger I can become if I push it a little further every time.

Do you ever compare yourself with others? 
Used to do it all the time. I would be my worst critic. I would look at how others looked better than me, were prettier, thinner, nicer... every quality I used to see in others were an excuse to put myself down for not having them as strong as everyone else. Little by little, I've been learning to only compare what I am with what I was. To see my own accomplishments. To feel proud for myself. To see my improvements, recognize them, reward myself for them. To see other's qualities with inspiration, not with jealousy. We all have something good inside to offer.


  1. You are a runner! And you're smart to be starting off with a 6K. My first run of the year was a 1/2 marathon but I have a 10K coming up in a few weeks that I'm really looking forward too! It's the day before my birthday and my little brother is coming to visit and run alongside me!

  2. Good luck on your first race!
    I loved what you wrote about focusing on what you're doing when you're doing it. I shouldn't feel guilty about running when I have other things to do--I'll have more energy and focus to tackle them after my run!

  3. @Laura: haha Thanks, Laura! I'm a really recent runner (started about what 2 weeks), so I wanna take baby steps :)
    How AWESOME is gonna be to run with your little brother! So proud of you! <3

  4. @Vanessa:
    Thanks, gal! I'll try my very best out there! :)
    I know, right? I don't know why we do that, but we all do! You're so right, running pays off for all the other things we have to do later on... we'll do them much better, right? d:

  5. "hey look, I graduate at something I don't actually care about"


    Nah, a Suellen é BEM MORENA, POSSO VER ALI. Não su 100% doida. UAHUAHAUHAAHHHHA

    AFF, c comprou uma capinha na APPLE? Queria uma capinha que dissesse "Ipod" com uma maça mordida pela Eva :(

  6. Neh? Com qual proposito eu me pergunto! rss

    VEI ela nao eh morena vei, putz auhuhhuhuhuhu ela deve ser POUQUISSIMA coisa mais que eu... rsss

    EU COMPREI YAYY, na verdade minha mae comprou qd ela tava aqui :)
    Uai a sua nao tem o simbolo da APLLE atras nao? D:


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