I have 6K coming up in a few weeks. The running group convinced me. It's my first race ever, but I'm glad I'm starting off with a 6K instead of a 10K. I know it's nothing for you marathoners out there, but it means a lot to me. It means I'm starting. It means I'm putting myself out there for good or bad. It means I'm doing something for myself and that, after that, I'll be stronger even if it's in a small way. And I'll also have running pictures, running shirts and running people to hang out with. Well, maybe that's the main reason I'm doing this d: C'mon, don't judge, I really wanna a running shirt :)
So Fall is finally here. Well, not really, it's really being a chicken this year. I don't complain. Like at all. I'm not a big fan of winter after all. But the leaves as falling...
Sorry I don't know how to pose for pictures at all.
Church gals d:
That was taken by Su after church... so you know what that means...
Sunday sushi's ritual. Su ditched me and went home. Something about having to save money and cooking I didn't quite get.
Today I had the class I fear the most... anatomy. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the subject. But the class has always taken the best out of me. I used to start crying several times in the middle of the class (I would always blame it on the formol lol). By the end of it, I was so mentally devastated that the only thing I could think of what "why am I in this career again?" Anatomy is tough. Specially for me, who has always like humanities classes better since I can understand myself as a human being. I read Socrates when I was 13. Sophie's World 3 times when I was 14. Nietzsche and Freud joined me for my 15th birthday. I had a really messed up teenagerhood (is this even a word?), mostly because I was aware of most things that were happening around me and I couldn't just be ignorant about it. Ok, back to the point. Anatomy has been difficult to me because I'm not used to decorate things. I'm used to read and understand. Simple as that. So I've been spending several hours a day dedicating exclusively to anatomy and, you know what?, it's been worth it. At first, I wasn't seen improvement. I started thinking I just suck at it, something genetic (don't you also love to blame it on the genes when you can't justify it?). But, after today, I'm seeing things differently. I was really into the class all the time, I answered, I recognized parts, I felt like I knew every single word the teacher said. And I had one of those moments when you smile and feel proud of yourself. Don't you love those? I've been having them quite a lot lately.
Yeah, those are dead people. Don't freak out, they don't look nearly as exciting as they are in The Sixth Sense.
So, let's talk running. Yesterday, I went to meet with the group again. I got there a little late because my subway got stuck somewhere, somehow, I wasn't really paying attention. So I met them half way and started running out of nowhere to warm up. About 3.2K. Then we did a little of abs, lunges, squads, push-ups (as if I don't do those enough at the gym). So we were at a park called ROSEDAL, in the middle of the Palermo's gardens. Really famous spot in Buenos Aires. The group made marks around the park every 100m. A whole turn has 1.600m, starting from mark 0m. I asked the teacher "so what are we doing today?", he said "400m speed". 400m?, I thought in my naivety, that's not that bad, and walked away happy we were doing some shorter sets of sprints. I didn't walk away quick enough to hear we were doing 12 (yeah, you read it right) 12 sets of 400m. HA. I seriously laughed. First thought: there's no way in god's creation I'm able to do 12 sets. With that in mind, I joined a group of 4 and we started. I kept telling myself I was gonna do only one whole turn (the whole 12 sets resulted in 3 whole turns at the park). Pace? 7.42. By the end of the first whole turn, I was exhausted. It hurt like hell. We had 1min rest between every set. I couldn't breath, I was thirsty, I thought I wasn't gonna make it. Then the guys said "let's go" and I automatically followed them. I kept going. It grew on me. I was getting faster. I passed one of the dudes from my group (notice that I'm the slowest one so that gave me a huge adrenaline fix). By the end of the second whole turn, quitting was already not an option. I was strong. I could see myself running strong, I was faster, I felt like nothing could stop me. I finished the third whole turn. The teacher came to talk to me, really worried, asking if I was ok, saying that I shouldn't have tried to keep up with the boys, that I shouldn't have done all the 12 sets. I was smiling big time. I've never felt such an amazing sense of accomplishment in my life. I ran the fastest I've ever had. I didn't quit. I enjoyed it. Hey, you know what? I'm a runner. :)
Life's good, folks. Never forget that. "It's not the load that breaks you down. It's the way you carry it." [ Lena Horne ].
How are you carrying your load?
What has made you proud of yourself lately?
I definitely need to say the running group. It has made me realize how much stronger I can become if I push it a little further every time.
Do you ever compare yourself with others?
Used to do it all the time. I would be my worst critic. I would look at how others looked better than me, were prettier, thinner, nicer... every quality I used to see in others were an excuse to put myself down for not having them as strong as everyone else. Little by little, I've been learning to only compare what I am with what I was. To see my own accomplishments. To feel proud for myself. To see my improvements, recognize them, reward myself for them. To see other's qualities with inspiration, not with jealousy. We all have something good inside to offer.