Friday, April 27, 2012

A little motivational pep talk.

First of all: I got the spinning job ha. For now it's only gonna be 2 days/week. I was really afraid they're gonna give me the 8pm class (which I'd do anyway), but my boss just called and asked if I was up to the 6pm class. HECK YEAH! Actually, I prefer it a thousand times! The gym is almost 9K away from my home and I bike to get there. Not fun biking all the way back, at 9ish pm, 40F. So 6pm works great!

Second. Some thoughts about positive attitude. I haven't posted this here but I have been feeling pretty down those past weeks. Like 4-days-in-a-row-without-leaving-your-bedroom kind of down. It all started when I got the news that I did really bad in a final that I've studied my a** off. And it was probably some scam from school, which I won't get into details about. This subject was correlative for most of the subjects I should be taking this year - which I can't do now 'till I pass this damn test. Considering that all the subjects are annuals, I'll basically waste a whole year of my life. Add to that the fact that I still have 5 more years to graduate + 4 more of residency and you get the picture of how big this is.

It took me almost a whole month to sort all this thing out inside my head. First I got really depressed, to the point where my roommate had to do an intervention. I got better. Then sad again. Trying to find a job. Doing nothing the whole day. Not having motivation to wake up, to go out. Barely eating. Then I re-started bodyrocking. Got slightly better. A couple gyms started calling me for subbing some spinning classes. My appetite got better, my mood improved, my will to simply exist finally came back. Now, I know that I had the right to be upset, but still I did leave all the circumstances take the best out of me. I could've sort this out in a different way. I could've reached out for my friends, family. I could've used up my time for running more, hanging out more, socializing more. Instead I've hibernated in my own world and started avoid everybody, which obviously just made me feel worse. Now when you move from country to country as much as I do, feeling lonely is something you just get used to. New friends are easy to find, but that old ones that took you years to cultivate in your own country that's something really hard to find in just a couple of months or years. Studying the hardest career on the planet also doesn't help with the socializing part, specially because every med student you see are in their own world and have so much inside their heads that it's hard to make time for anything else besides school and probably only one more thing (either family, friends, bf/gf, activity, hobby etc).

So if you're feeling depressed, allow yourself to feel it but please don't let it take over your life. Bad things happen and we should all feel sad about them - I have a really hard time with those bloggers who all have a perfect relationship, always a perfect workout, always motivated to run etc; don't let this kind of thing bring you down! Everybody has their own problems and weather they decide to show it or not is a whole other thing. Don't think about how it looks much easier for everyone else and how apparently you always have to work much harder to get what you want. Just do your own thing. Using others as motivation is a great thing, but 'till a certain point where you don't feel bad about what you have compared to what everyone else has. Obviously some people have it easier than others, but that's circumstantial. You have something that come easier for you than it does for them as well, you sure do. It's time to focus on our strengths instead of whining about our weaknesses.

Anyway, I think this is more for myself than for the blog world ;) I'm just gonna put up some inspirational pictures so, every time I (you too) feel sad, down, unmotivated, you can always remember that there's someone else who's feeling the same - the difference is that they're pushing through it instead of feeling sorry for themselves.


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