Monday, May 24, 2010
Ok, this might be way too stupid.
So, it's almost 3:30am. I had actually turned off the computer and was laying down in bed for like about 30min now. And I had already turned the computer off, but I had to come back to write this down 'cause I would definitely forget about it in a few minutes.
I'm impressed by my ability of making up things on my head. I mean, I actually make up this whole drama with someone. And I had discussions with the person. And I solve them. And we make up. And we get closer. And, despite the fact that it's all INSIDE my head, I actually act with the person, later on, like all that was actually true and that the person actually knows like a little bit more of me, you know? Like we have now a deeper connection. And the stupid thing is that the other person has no freaking idea (obviously!) of what's going on in my head and, of course, their treatment towards me will just be the same. And then, again, I get frustrated and disappointed 'cause I feel more connected to someone that the other way around. And it's been like that for as long as I can remember. Then, again, I'll lay down in bed with all the sadness in the world and start making up, again, a way out of it. Then solve it. Then get closer to someone.
I mean, this is worse then Wonderland. It's i.m.m.a.t.u.r.i.t.y. Wake up, Alice. You are not 5. Ken and Barbie are like long gone. And I assure you they ain't happily ever after. Just saying.